Inclov impact story: 30-year-old Anjali Mehta from Gurgaon is all set to tie the knot with Arpan Bhagat (faces cerebral palsy), a businessman from Delhi. After meeting him on Inclov, Anjali feels that she has found the ‘man of her dreams’ and couldn’t have asked for a better life partner. She is ecstatic at the thought of spending her life with the most special human being she has ever met.
In conversation with Inclov, Anjali talks about how her initial perception incluabout disability has changed and what influenced her decision on the choice of her companion?
Congratulations on your engagement! Things have changed after the last interaction we had in June earlier this year?
Thanks a lot. It is a beautiful moment for me and my family. All these years I had only thought of getting married, and now here I am! The feeling is yet to sink in! It feels surreal, but I am extremely excited at the same time.
In the last interview, you had mentioned that you didn’t want a partner with disability. What has changed since then?
I am a so-called physically ‘normal’ person and was unsure of getting married to a person with disability as I was not able to focus beyond their physical aspects. But, I have evolved as a person since then! Thanks to the Inclov matchmakers for helping me understand people better. I was assigned a Personal Matchmaker after I enrolled for the Inclov Select service. She shared a couple of profiles and I was really impressed as she did so after understanding my requirements after several calls and interactions with me. I liked both the profiles, despite them being differently-abled. One of them was Arpan, my would-be husband (sounds good to say!) now! I was initially apprehensive as I was judging people based on their physical aspect without knowing them at all!
How did this all start? Take us through you experience of finding a partner all these years?
I had been active on different matrimonial portals for quite some time. I saw multiple profiles but was disappointed by the quality of the service and didn’t find anyone who fit in my criteria for a life partner. So, I abstained from approaching anyone. A few months back, my mother came to know of Inclov app and she created my profile on it. I was apprehensive to begin with, but my first impression changed all that. The men seemed decent and it was not only about ripped bodies or other materialistic materialistic needs (money, looks, etc.). I decided to give this app a try and here I am now!
What changed your initial apprehensions about people you met on Inclov?
I was skeptical of spending my life with a person with disability! I had liked Arpan instantly, but somehow I had this dilemma in my mind. I met the matchmakers assigned to me and discussed this topic with them. They made me realize that I had always wanted a life partner like him, and shouldn’t let my inability of understanding disability come in between. I shouldn’t hold myself back if I liked him! In a way they opened my eyes, and I decided to give it a try. Our matchmaker scheduled our calls and in less than three months, we have decided to get married!
Wow! That’s a huge leap of faith and it seems that your opinion has changed completely now?
We are all just one incident away from becoming a differently-abled person! Disability should never be a deciding factor for anything! In fact, a person with disability is far more adept at handling tough life situations and can deal with difficult moments in a more mature manner than others. At the end of the day, it’s the nature of the person that matters the most.
Tell me a bit about Arpan, your fiancée? What made it click with him?
Arpan is a gem of a person, down-to-earth, respects his elders, values me and is a cheerful person. Currently, he is based out of Mumbai and wants to return to Delhi and take care of his elderly parents. These are some of his qualities that has convinced me completely!
You have mentioned the impact of the matchmakers? What was your experience like?
Inclov Select service has not just helped me find a life partner of my dreams but has also changed me as a person. After enrolling for the service, I was assigned a Personal Matchmaker, who interacted with me regularly to understand my requirements for a life partner. She also gave me a Personality Test and conducted numerous counselling sessions to help me understand myself better. Thereafter, she sent profiles and I interacting with them. She was in constant touch and discussed each profile thoroughly. Over time, she has become a dear friend and is not just my matchmaker now!
How did the personality tests and counselling help you? What was it like?
The matchmaker took a Personality Test to help me understand myself better! The Test was very helpful and it has brought in many positive changes in me. I have much better control over my anger, behavior towards people has changed, and I am more confident and calm by nature. Moreover, the counselling provided to me was one of the key reasons which helped me understand Arpan better and choose him as a life partner. The Inclov matchmakers are my friends who have been with me in my weakest moments, helped me get through tough phases and assisted me in making the right decisions in my life.
How did your parents react to your decision?
After my matchmaker had interacted and scheduled meeting between our families, we finally met each other. Arpan’s family has a business in Delhi. After the initial apprehensions were cast aside, we are very happy now. My parents were initially worried but after meeting Arpan they realized that he would be the best life partner for me!
I remember a moment fondly where Arpan’s mother asked me to take a walk with him in the market and understand how it would feel to be with a differently-abled person. She said people will stare and pass comments and it can be very difficult. I thought it was a nice gesture by her and showed she cared about me and not just her son! I went out with him and people turned around and stared for a little while, but it felt normal and am I perfectly fine with it.
All well’s that ends well! What are the plans ahead?
We are getting engaged now. Arpan will be pushing off to USA in January next year. (he is a senior analyst in an MNC). After, he returns, we plan to get married on 15th July next year!
Talks of breaking perceptions and redefining social norms are frequently heard but rarely seen! Anjali has proved that disability should never be a question or a deciding factor for making any decision in our lives and it is just as ‘normal’ as everything else.